Tuesday, October 7, 2014

To Jesus (and for those who relate):

I feel like I too often have been in the habit of respecting Your rules, and admiring Your attributes without actually being with You. I do it without even realizing. I am the person who thinks highly of You but doesn't spend very much time with You. I am the person who gets in the habit of admiring You from afar but doesn't sit and have lunch with You. I am the person who treats You like the CEO of the company I work for Whom I respect and admire, and not a friend, or a father, or the love of my life. Your presence is intimidating. Your power is intimidating. But why should I be scared of You? Why don't I treat You like we're intimates and not business partners. Maybe I don't know You as well as I thought I did. I'm not saying I don't know You at all. I do. And I have been in Your presence. And I know you well enough that I really trust You. I trust You with my most beloved things. Mistaking knowing about You, and respecting You and everything You represent, for knowing You is a habit I've unfortunately gotten into. All of a sudden I stop and realize that I have thought about You without letting You in. I'm glad I have all this knowledge, but I'm relieved that I remember to be in Your presence. And I hope to remember it more. 

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